Starting this blog has been a new experience for me, and I have had a chance to briefly explore some of my hopes and expectations as well as my concerns and even some fears. Just when it started feeling like a potentially overwhelming project in terms of keeping it current and not letting it fall into a pile of projects begun and then left for personal historical reference (i.e. scrapbooking and finishing that puzzle begun on last winter’s vacation), I went back to the basics…start with what I know. In therapeutic terms it would look like starting from where you client is. To me this means that I don’t need to know all of the answers and that it is okay to not have this all figured out just yet. It also fits my theme of being able to ask more questions in order to answer (or not) when the time is right.
Some of my beginning questions are about what the purpose of this project might be and what does it mean to me as well as: Who can I go to for support? What do I need to have clarity about right now and what can wait for later? How can I balance this project within the scope of my life?
This approach also comes in handy for many other life situations. When recently faced with answering questions about the complex and confusing events of September 11, 2001 with an 8 year old and 4 year old, I could feel the potential enormity of the discussion. Stepping back and asking, “What do you know?” gave me a good understanding where I could start and to clarify any misconceptions or questions that were already present. This lead me to come up with questions like: What would you like to know? Do you have any more questions? What feelings do you have about what we talked about? Do you have any concerns, fears or thoughts about this? The actual conversation did not last more than 10 minutes and then quickly turned to Minecraft updates, building with Trio block and other lighter subjects.
Here are three links for more information on the subject:
http://www.aacap.org/cs/root/facts_for_families/talking_to_children_about_terrorism_and_war
http://www.trauma-pages.com/h/bombing.php
I’m looking forward to seeing how this project takes shape in my life and will close with end with this question:
Starting from here, how would I like to see it go?
